Hold me now
by JuleWhatev
Summary: What if Esme didn't break her leg at 16, but 22? What if she was already engaged to Charles? Would Carlisle still be strong enough to let her go? - Read and find out! New story in five chapters!
1. just a patient

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing of this story, everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just borrowed her character for my ideas. _**

**_A/N: I am sorry you haven't heard from me in a while. I was struggling quite a lot with writing, getting close to completely giving up and deleting everything. I am ahppy I didn't now and I am thankful for my friends who always listen to me and support me. I really hope I can continue with my other stories soon. In the meantime I hope you enjoy this story. It will be only 5 chapters long and treat the meeting of Carlisle and Esme a little differently. _**

**_This story is a little different than Esme's story as we know it from S.M. Esme is 22 in here, engaged to Charles Evenson. Carlisle treats her for her broken leg. the year is 1921, so Edward is already living with Carlisle. I hope everything is clear for you now, Enjoy!  
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**- Hold me now –**

**1. Just a patient**

_CPOV _

_Are you okay on your own? Do you need anything?_ I thought, looking at Edward as I tied my scarf around my neck. He rolled his eyes. "I am good. Go to work. You're getting on my nerves." He said with a wry smile. I nodded. _Sorry. I am almost gone. But please don't go out, wait till I get back, we can hunt then._ Edward rolled his eyes again, but seemed to be in a good mood still. "Go to work and fret over someone else! I will be fine! I just stay here and go through your collection of medical publications and whatever else I can find…" he remarked. I bowed my head. I knew Edward didn't find many books that caught his interest in my study. Most of my books were medical text books.

"Okay, I'm off to work. I'll be back around 6." I said and took my medical bag. I ran as fast as I could until I reached the streets where I had to slow down and walk at a more human pace towards the hospital. I hoped Edward would really be okay. I knew I was probably worrying too much, but we were living really close to the city this time and Edward was often downplaying his own thirst. I forced those thoughts out of my head. Edward hadn't slipped in almost a year and I should have more faith in him.

I walked along the almost empty streets towards the hospital. I enjoyed working again. I had stayed home for a while to keep Edward company and help him adjust to this new life. But I had missed working as a doctor. I was back for a few weeks now, since we had moved to Columbus.

The hospital was a brick building just a few miles from our house. When I entered most of the staff was just leaving for the night. I greeted my colleagues politely and wished them a good night before retreating in my office to change into my lab coat. After that I went towards the reception desk to check for any new cases.

"Good evening Dr Cullen, working the night shift again?" the elderly nurse asked with a small smile. I smiled in return. "Well, what else is there to do?" I asked. She gave me a sad smile. "You wouldn't say that if you had a wife to go home to." Nurse Gretchen remarked. I sighed. "I am happy with how things are." I said slowly. It was true. I was happy with Edward as my companion. Happier than I had ever been, but a tiny part of me was still wanting more. But I didn't know what exactly that 'more' could be.

"Are there any patients?" I asked Gretchen to distract her from my personal life. "No, it's a quiet night so far." She replied. I nodded. "I will just check on my patients then and later do some paperwork in my office." The nurse nodded. "Alright, I will tell you if there's a case coming in." I nodded. "Thank you." I said.

My patients were all sleeping soundly and so I went back into my office to get my paperwork in order. A task I hated because it allowed my mind to drift to a lot of different things. And I hated being all alone in my office. It reminded me of all the centuries I was all alone. I was slipping back into melancholy and memories of many lonely nights where I longed for a companion. Simply someone who shared my views. Edward was exactly that. And I still wanted more. But why? I had everything I ever wanted. I should be happy…

A noise outside in the hallway interrupted my thoughts which I was very glad for. I focused on the sounds and heard 3 different voices talking lowly. One of them was Nurse Gretchen's. "Just sit down for a minute, I am getting the doctor." I heard her say. A man answered with a gruff grunt and I frowned. I stood up and put my lab coat back on just as Gretchen knocked on my door. "Dr Cullen?" "Coming." I replied and left my office. "What have we got?" I asked the nurse as I closed the door behind me. "Young lady and her parents. I think the young miss may have hurt her leg." I nodded and followed Gretchen towards the reception desk.

EsPOV

The pain in my leg was excruciating. It felt like every bone was splintered in tiny pieces. But I didn't dare to shift my position to get more comfortable, first because even the tiniest move brought a fresh wave of pain so bad it made me almost faint and second because that would get my parents attention back to me. I knew they were furious with me. In their eyes I had brought disgrace upon the whole family with my stupid stunt. "You can be very happy Mr Evenson and his son didn't notice anything of this." My father whispered harshly. "They would have ended the engagement right away because of such a stupidity. You can be lucky you are even engaged, at your age! Another such thing and you'll end up as an old spinster! You're a lady, Esme. Act like one, for once! You are 22 for god's sake!" he bellowed. I bowed my head in shame, biting my lip at the same time to keep me from talking back. I hated being treated like a child. I knew it hadn't been the wisest choice going climbing in this stupid dress, but I couldn't leave the little boy up in that tree either. James, the 5 year old son of a neighbor, was crying when I found him because he couldn't get down on his own again and was too afraid to jump into my arms. I just wanted to help him. I bit my lip to keep myself from defending my actions for the second time. I didn't need to get my father even more furious than he already was. I nodded solemnly, not daring to look up. I knew I was in trouble.

"Alright Mr and Mrs Platt, Dr Cullen will have a look at your daughter's leg now." The nurse said with a soft smile as she approached. I shot her a grateful look. I would do anything to get out of pain. "Gretchen, could you prepare exam room two for me please, and get a wheelchair for Miss Platt first." I heard a velvety voice say and looked up. As I did so my breath literally caught in my throat. I was looking into a pair of deep ochre eyes that shone with warmth and compassion. The face surrounding these heavenly eyes was even more beautiful, straight angular features, pale skin and blonde hair. So this was my doctor. He was gorgeous. I had never seen a man this handsome. His body was tall and lean, probably very muscular under the clothes he was wearing. But it was not only his appearance. His voice was like liquid honey and his eyes were looking so gentle and warm. I could drown in his gaze. And he was so young. Certainly not older than myself. I was so taken aback I hardly noticed that he was speaking, never mind registering what he was saying. "Miss Platt, can you hear me?" I heard him say and forced my eyes away from his lips. I blushed and lowered my head, letting my hair fall over my reddening cheeks. "Are you alright?" the doctor asked again, concern evident in his soft voice. I nodded. "You seemed zoned out for just a minute here, are you sure you are okay?" he asked again. I nodded again. "Fine, a bit dizzy maybe…" I mumbled shyly. "Alright. Let me help you into that wheelchair so I can have a look at your injuries." The god in front of me said with a smile and held out his hand for me to take. I hesitated but when I reached out to take his hand, my father intercepted. "Apologies doctor, but I will do that." He said with a gruff voice and almost shoved the young doctor away. Dr Cullen stepped away with a polite smile. "Of course."

"Come on Esme." I clenched my teeth as my father gripped my arms and simply pulled me to my feet. I swayed and fresh tears welled up in my eyes as pain shot up my leg. My father didn't care. He simply pushed me down in the wheelchair where I collapsed, out of breath and whimpering in pain. I heard a sharp intake of breath and saw Dr Cullen frown. As he noticed me looking at him he gave me what I thought was a sympathetic look. I tried to smile but failed miserably. The pain was simply too much. "I take it from here, Mr Platt. These things are kind of hard to maneuver, they have a mind of their own and we don't want to cause your daughter further pain." Dr Cullen said and politely but firmly took over the wheelchair and pushed me into the exam room. He was very careful and I was grateful for that, the pain had only just lessened a tiny bit.

CPOV

As Gretchen brought me into the waiting room I was hit with a scent so delicious that I instantly stopped breathing just in case. It was flowery and sweet, but also spicy, like wild lavender growing on the fields. It made my throat flame up but I still wanted to take another breath, simply because the smell was so divine. And it belonged to a person even more divine. A young woman. She had caramel coloured hair and a slender but womanly body. I was confused for a moment. Her sight and smell did things to my body I had never experienced. It took me a few seconds to get back on track and focus on Gretchen and what she was saying. Still, my eyes flickered towards the young woman every few seconds. It was like I was being pulled towards her. I could see the amount of pain she was in and smell the saltiness of her tears and it made me want to hold her and comfort her. I told Nurse Gretchen to get a wheelchair. It would be the least painful way for the woman, Miss Platt, to move. I was just explaining that to her when I noticed the absent-minded look in her eyes and got worried. Every possible medical scenario was running through my head. Had she maybe hurt her head during whatever accident she was in? A concussion? Or worse? "Miss Platt, can you hear me?" I asked, fighting the panic rising up in me. I was getting crazy it seemed. "Are you alright?" I asked again when she didn't respond. Finally she nodded, lowering her head to hide the blush I could see covering her face. So it was a normal reaction to my kind, she got distracted by my appearance. It had happened before. In fact, it happened all the time but what never happened was that I felt… flattered by it. This woman made my head swim. She thought me good-looking. I couldn't help a tiny grin to spread across my face but quickly fought it down again, it was unprofessional.

"You seemed zoned out for just a minute here, are you sure you are okay?" I asked for the third time, but I couldn't help it. I was worried if she was okay. She finally replied, mumbling something about feeling a little dizzy but being fine otherwise. I made a mental note to check for a concussion later. I said something about helping her into the wheelchair and held out my hand for her to take when her father roughly cut in. He almost pushed me away and then without so much as a second thought pulled his daughter to her feet and let her collapse unceremoniously in the wheelchair. I winced and my dead heart clenched as I saw fresh tears stream down her face and heard her heart sped up as her pain increased. I gave Miss Platt, or Esme – a really beautiful name – a soft smile, the only comfort I could offer at the moment. She grinned back at me, not really managing a smile because of the pain she was in I guessed. I quickly stopped her father from pushing the wheelchair, wanting to spare her further pain. Slowly and gently I pushed her into the exam room, Nurse Gretchen and Mr and Mrs Platt following behind me. Of course, I wouldn't be able to be alone with Miss Platt. She needed a chaperone.

"Well, doctor, can you tell us how long this will take?" Mr Platt asked me impatiently. I frowned again. "I don't know for sure Mr Platt, but I need to check your daughter's injuries carefully and maybe even keep her in the hospital overnight or for a few days, depending on how badly injured she is." At that Mr Platt huffed, throwing his daughter a dark look. She lowered her head. "Well, we can't wait that long. We have to get back to the farm. We got work to do there. Work that cannot wait." He said. I nodded, pretending to understand though I really couldn't. "We will head back right now then, if we wait much longer we won't get back before midnight, or maybe not at all." Mr Platt said darkly, glowering at his daughter again. His wife only nodded. "We will return tomorrow then, I assume my daughter will have to stay over night?" I nodded. "Yes, I would like to keep her under supervision for one night. I can give you more information tomorrow, but I can't promise Miss Platt won't have to stay a few days longer." "Well, if this is everything." Mr Platt said. "It is." I nodded. "I will… leave you for a few minutes to give you some privacy." I said and left the exam room, shooting a last glance at the young Miss Platt.

EsPOV

Dr Cullen and the nurse left and I was left alone with my parents. "We are going back now. I will visit tomorrow to find out when you will go home. And I'll think of a story we can feed Mr Evenson and his son. Not a word of your stupid activity will be known, is that clear?" my father said sternly. I nodded. "Yes, father." I mumbled. "Good. Behave while you are here. Remember how you have been brought up, even for just a day!" he warned me. I nodded again.

"Well, goodbye Esme." My father said after a few more minutes. "Goodbye Father." I said softly. He only nodded, while my mother actually gave me a short hug. After that they left without as much as another word.

I suddenly felt a little lonely and lost. I knew I was a grown-up woman and normally I loved my independence, but this time I felt intimidated by it all. And I was still in so much pain. My leg was throbbing with unbearable pain and the rest of my body was sore.

I sat there crying silently for a few minutes before the door opened again and the nurse stepped inside, followed by the god-like Dr Cullen. He gave me a small smile, whispering a "You'll be fine." so low only I could hear it. I tried to smile back, but couldn't because of my pain.

While the nurse stood at the back of the room, only fulfilling her task as being a chaperone for the moment it seemed, Dr Cullen approached me. "I need you to get onto that exam table so I can examine you properly, Miss Platt. Do you want some pain medication first?" he asked softly. I shook my head, determined to hold off medication as long as possible. I didn't want to be in a daze while Dr Cullen was around. I wanted a clear memory of him. He was heavenly. Perfect. Like an angel.

CPOV 

I gave the young lady a reassuring smile as I held out my hand for her to take. "Alright, just hold on to my arms as tight as you can and I will do the rest. Try to move your hurt leg as little as possible and tell me if I am hurting you, alright?" Miss Platt, Esme, nodded. "Okay." She whispered. She tentatively grabbed both my forearms and held on tightly as I pulled her to her feet, trying to be as gentle as possible. Still, her face contorted in pain. "Just a few more steps." I whispered, taking a breath of her heavenly scent. We were so close I could feel her body warmth, hear her heart pounding in her chest. I just wanted to lean in closer, take her in my arms, feel more of her soft skin, her warmth against my own cold body.

Finally I had to let go of Esme as we reached the exam table. I actually held on for a moment longer than was appropriate, helping her getting as comfortable as possible on the cool table. As I helped her straightening out her injured leg she winced in pain and her face got white with exhaustion. "Do you want some medication now?" I asked, afraid she might pass out. "I'm… fine." The young woman whispered between clenched teeth. I sighed. Seeing her in so much obvious pain caused me hurt.

"Alright." I sighed. "But if it gets any worse I will give you something." I mumbled. "So, erm… is the pain in your leg the worst or do you have pain somewhere else too? Your head maybe? Or you start telling me what happened so I know where to look for injuries." I asked. I saw her blush and she looked down. "My head is fine. My leg hurts the worst." She answered lowly. I nodded. "Okay, do you mind if I have a quick look at your head first still? A head injury can be very serious." She gave me a soft nod. Very gently I reached out and began to stroke along her neck, checking for injuries. Her skin was so soft and warm under my fingertips I found myself lingering longer on her neck than I should have. After I finally moved away from her slender neck I threaded my fingers through her silky curls and probed around her skull. Medically everything seemed fine to me but I didn't want to let go. Her hair smelled sweet and spicy, like wild flowers and they felt so soft. Eventually I had to let go. I smiled at Miss Platt. "Your head feels fine, that's good. So, I'll take a look at your leg now." I said lowly. "Please tell me if I hurt you." I swallowed, I was a little shy all of a sudden, I had treated so many women over the years without a seconds thought even if it hadn't always been easy, but this time was the first time I felt self-conscious. Finally, after swallowing hard a second time I pushed her skirt up to her knee, barely keeping my fingers from trembling.

Her leg that I could see would normally be slim and beautiful was now badly bruised and heavily swollen. I was sure it was broken but would take an x-ray picture to be sure later. I reached out and placed my hand on her heated skin. Esme hissed. "I'm sorry, I know… my hands are cold." I mumbled, almost ashamed of my cold skin. "No." she quickly protested and I looked up. "It… feels nice… the cold…" she admitted. I grinned, unconsciously placing my hand back on her leg. Esme smiled at me. A low cough brought me back to reality. This was inappropriate, no matter how much I wanted it. "Well, maybe Nurse Gretchen can at least get you some ice; this should also help ease the pain in your leg." I said slowly. Nurse Gretchen got up after a moment, giving me a stern look. I knew I shouldn't do that. Nurse Gretchen was here to chaperone Miss Platt and I had practically kicked her out.

Still, Esme was smiling at me as soon as the door closed behind Gretchen. "Thank you." She whispered. I grinned. "What for?" Miss Platt shrugged. "Everything, being so careful mostly." I smiled. "Well, I am here to ease your pain, not cause you more. Do you want to tell me what happened now maybe? Just because of your injuries." "I fell… from a tree." She finally admitted. I looked up. I hadn't expected that. Esme blushed. "Yes, I know. It is inappropriate and I must not climb trees, but… the neighbors' son, James, he was sitting in that tree, crying, afraid to get down. I had to help him. " she tried to defend her action. "I don't think it's inappropriate." I whispered quietly. She caught my eyes. "You don't?" she repeated unbelievingly. "No. You were trying to help that boy. And climbing in that dress is very… brave." I said with a small smile. She grinned and blushed a little. "Thank you." I opened my mouth to say something else but just then Gretchen entered again, carrying an ice pack. She gave it to me. "Thank you Gretchen." I said slowly. "Thank you." Esme repeated. I carefully handed her the ice pack and placed it on her leg. She sighed lowly, obviously the cold helped. Still, some irrational part of me wished it were still my hand on her leg and not the ice.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts I touched her leg carefully again, feeling for the broken bone. It wasn't hard to find. As soon as I touched the break Esme winced in pain. "I am sorry." I said quickly. "I need to get an x-ray, but I am pretty sure your leg is broken." Esme nodded solemnly. I admired her bravery. I had seen men cry and beg for pain meds with an injury like hers but she was bearing it. She was strong.

EsPOV

My breath caught in my throat as Dr Cullen pushed my skirt up. I looked away from him, trying to get my heartbeat back under control. His hands were cold, but it felt so nice. His hands were so soft, like marble brushing over my skin. His touch, as professional as it was, made my heart race. I swallowed hard and only barely stopped a shiver running through me. Why was I feeling this strange all of a sudden? I didn't even know Dr Cullen.

I grinned thinking of how he told the nurse to leave. I liked being alone with him, though it was inappropriate. I didn't really like this nurse. She was eyeing us suspiciously the whole time, like an eagle watching his prey before he decides to go for the kill.

I wasn't surprised when he told me my leg was probably broken. The pain was so excruciating that I had suspected it from the start.

"We need to get an x-ray of your leg Miss Platt, for that you have to get back in the wheelchair, do you think you can manage that?" Dr Cullen asked me. I nodded. I would make this. It was not far, just a few steps. It couldn't be too bad. And my leg was feeling much better now, after lying still for a bit and having the ice to cool it down. "Good. I will help you again, alright?" I gave him a small smile. "Thank you." I mumbled.

Dr Cullen held out his hands again and I scooted to the edge of the table. Then I placed my arms on his shoulders and got down on my good leg. I stumbled and only caught myself by wrapping my arms tightly around Dr Cullen's neck. As I looked up again I was staring in his eyes, this beautiful golden eyes I could drown in. I felt his cool breath on my face and forgot everything else around me. His body felt strong but cool against mine, still I only wanted to move closer to him.

CPOV 

Miss Platt stumbled and I instinctively reached out to catch her. A second later I found myself staring into her face inches from mine, her arms around my neck, my arms on her waist to steady her. I swallowed. Her skin was pressed against mine, her warmth against my cold body. I felt like my heart might start beating again.

All this only lasted for a moment. After a second I stepped back from Miss Platt, removing her hands from my neck and bringing a respectable distance between our bodies. "Are you alright, Miss Platt?" I asked lowly. She nodded. I instantly missed her warmth but I had to remember where we were. And that Nurse Gretchen was watching every movement we made. As gently as I could I sat the young lady down in the wheelchair and turned away from her. I was trying to get myself under control again and appear as if I felt uncomfortable with what happened. As hard as it was because secretly I longed to hold her again.

"Alright, Can you take Miss Platt down to x-ray Nurse Gretchen? I'll be there in a minute." I said. The nurse nodded and pushed the wheelchair with Miss Platt out of the room. I stayed with my back turned on them. If I had looked back, I knew I would have caught her gaze that was now burning in my back and would have reacted in one way or another, giving away how I really felt.

As the door closed I took a deep but unnecessary breath and was assaulted with the heavy scent that was Esme. It made my throat burn but I welcomed the pain to fill my lungs with this heavenly scent. My skin was still tingling where her body had been pressed against my own. I was confused. It seemed every fibre in my body was focused on her. Even now I still listened for her voice in the hallway outside, for her heartbeat and everything else I could get to make sure she was okay. I smiled softly to myself. She was a beautiful woman, her personality, or what I knew of it so far was captivating. I found myself craving her company though I had just met her. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I should keep a respectable distance to anybody. But I couldn't with her. It made me feel uneasy not being near her. I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face. Never ever had a person, a woman had that attraction to me. Right now it was like a magnet was pulling me towards her and I was too weak to step back.

I rubbed my hand over my face, letting out a sigh of frustration. Then I left the exam room and followed Nurse Gretchen and Miss Platt down to x-rays, reminding myself to keep this professional. I had to. Nurse Gretchen was already suspicious. She had been overly cautious from the start, simply because of the circumstances. Esme and I were close in age and both not married. It was in her upbringing to suspect something from the start there. Normally this would be no problem at all, because I would be able to stay completely professional, but not this time. This time just being in the same room with 'my patient' was sending shivers down my spine and turning my mind into a confused whirlwind. I had to stop this and get a grip on myself. This couldn't be so hard, could it? Maybe if I stopped breathing, so her tantalizing scent wouldn't mess with my head…

EsPOV 

The nurse brought me into a room down the hall. Most of its space was taken up by a complicated looking machine. I guessed this was the x-ray machine. I wondered if Dr Cullen would be the one to take the x-ray or if it would be the nurse. I wanted Dr Cullen to treat me and was a little sad he wasn't here. Had the incident a few minutes ago made him back off? I was still embarrassed by what happened but I also couldn't get the feeling of his body against mine out of my head. His strong but unusually cold body. His soft hair that I felt under my fingers for the fraction of a second, his hands on my waist, steadying me and his breath on my face.

While I was still wondering if Dr Cullen had maybe given my case over to another doctor or done something else to not have to treat me again, the door opened and he stepped inside. He gave me a polite smile but seemed much more controlled than just a few minutes ago. I didn't like it. He appeared stiff, somehow. "So, we are going to take an x-ray of your leg now, to let me see where the fracture is exactly and if the bones have shifted and need to be put back in place. For that you need to put your leg up on this little table here." He explained. Nurse Gretchen helped me put my leg up on said table, but she wasn't as gentle and careful as Dr Cullen would have been. After helping me she left for a short moment and brought two vests. As I put them on I realized that it was terribly heavy. "It's filled with lead, to protect you from the rays." Dr Cullen explained as he put his own vest on. "Alright, I am going to take the picture now, please hold still." Dr Cullen said and went over to operate the machine. The nurse had left the room already. I let out a breath of relief. I felt much more comfortable if it was only Dr Cullen and me in the room. He must have noticed though, because he shot me a curious glance, but said nothing.

"The picture will take a few minutes to develop; in the meantime we wait here." Dr Cullen explained. "Why?" I asked him. He smiled a little. "Because if I have to set to the bones, which I sincerely hope not, we will have to take another x-ray to be sure I did it right. And I don't want to cause you more pain than absolutely necessary." I smiled. "Thank you." I whispered. He barely nodded in acknowledgement. I looked down, biting my lip. Why was he so cold now? "I will go and have a look on the picture now. I'll be back in a few minutes."

CPOV 

I left the x-ray room and took the picture to a clipboard. One glance at it told me what I had already known. It was broken and I even had to reset the bones. I cringed at the mere thought of having to do that. It would be very painful for Esme. "Is it broken?" Nurse Gretchen asked as she stepped behind me. I sighed. "Yes, I will have to reset the bones, too. Would you prepare the plaster for me?" "Yes, I get everything ready for you. Do you need me to help you take another x-ray first?" I shook my head. "No, thank you, it will be alright." I said simply and went back into the exam room, after grabbing some morphine along the way. Resetting bones was one of the most painful procedures I could think of.

"It's broken, right?" Esme whispered as I entered the room again. I nodded. "It is, sadly." I replied. "I thought so, it hurts so much, it has to be broken." She explained. "Well, yes, I'm afraid I also have to reset the bone." I said and sat down on the stool in front of Esme again. She was biting her lip, anxiously clenching and unclenching her hands in her lap. "Will it hurt?" she asked, looking up at me through long lashes. I wished I could tell her it wouldn't, seeing her so afraid broke my heart. "I try to be as quick as possible, but yes, it will hurt, I'm afraid." Esme nodded, but she looked terribly frightened. This broke my heart. I quickly reached out and squeezed her hand, forgetting about being professional here. I couldn't. I could not stand to see her hurting. "I will be very quick, I promise. I hate to cause you pain, but there's no other way. And I can give you something against the pain now…" I began. "No, it's fine, I can handle it." She interrupted. I shook my head, not knowing why she was so determined not to accept any pain medication when she was suffering so much. "Maybe you should really let me relieve your pain a bit, this will hurt much more…" I told her. Esme bit her lip but bravely shook her head. "I will be okay." She told me, though fear was flashing in her eyes.

I sighed. "Okay, try not to look at your leg when I do this, it's not a nice sight." Esme bit her lip determined and then looked up, locking eyes with me. For a moment she held my gaze. I could feel myself being drawn into those deep green pools of her eyes. I wanted to drown in them… Realizing what I was doing after a few seconds, I cleared my throat, forcing myself to look at her leg and not into her beautiful green eyes.

I gently probed along her shin until I reached the break, then quickly jerked the bone back in place and put the ice pack on top of it. Still, Esme cried out in pain and visibly paled. "Are you okay? Esme, stay with me…" I said a little panicked, grabbing her arm and placing my hand on her cheek. "Stay with me, Esme… look at me, stay awake…" I said. Her eyes slowly focused on me again and she blinked several times. She looked sick.

"Are you okay?" I asked after a few moments. "Yes… I think so… sorry." She mumbled, looking down. "Don't apologize, it's fine. I know this hurts and is a terrible thing to experience." "The… snap… it was sickening…" she whispered, shuddering. "Are you really alright now? Are you feeling sick? Dizzy?" I repeated my question. "No, no, I'm alright… it's already a little better." She mumbled. I gave her a soft smile. "I will give you some pain medication now." I mumbled, reaching for the syringe and the morphine in my coat pocket. But again Esme stopped me, reaching out to hold my hand. "I don't need it. Really." She said. I shook my head. "Please, you are hurting, I can see it. Let me help with that." I practically begged, but Esme shook her head. I sighed. "Why won't you accept any pain medication?" I wanted to know. Esme blushed at my question, looking down and letting her hair fall forward to hide from me. "You can tell me, whatever it is. Please, I don't want you to suffer unnecessarily."

"I don't want to be… in a daze." She finally mumbled, still not looking up. Her voice was so low I might not have caught it, if my hearing was not that sensitive. I smiled softly. "And if I promise you won't be?" I asked. Esme looked up. "I will give you something to ease your pain, but I promise that it won't be enough to make you drowsy, alright?" Esme looked up and after a minute, she nodded.

"This will just be a tiny pinch." I mumbled as I injected a bit of morphine. Esme smiled. "Thanks, but after the pain I already experienced I will hardly be bothered by a needle." I grinned. I guess it was a bit silly of me to assume the injection would bother her. "Sorry." I mumbled. "No, it's nice. Other doctors are not as caring as you." I smiled. "Thank you." I mumbled sincerely. "Are you feeling any better now? The morphine should start to kick in already." Esme smiled. "Yes, it's a little better. I'll be fine."

"I will have to take another x-ray now, to be sure your bones are set right." At that Esme paled again. "You might have to do this again?" she asked with a shaking voice. I gave her a soft smile. "I'm pretty sure it's alright, don't worry for now, we cross that bridge when we come to it." Esme nodded, looking a little frightened. I tried to reassure her as I took another x-ray, gently rubbing soothing circles over the back of her hand.

EsPOV 

I felt good as long as Dr Cullen was with me, holding my hand and assuring me that I would be fine, but when he left to take a look on the x-ray, I got nervous again. The pain when he reset my leg was excruciating and the sound made me sick. I shivered at the mere thought of having to endure it again.

I anxiously watched as Dr Cullen entered again, something that I suspected to be the x-ray in his hand. A shiver ran through me at the thought of my leg still not being set right. But then he looked up and gave me a small smile. "It's okay. The x-ray looks fine. I just wanted to show you." He explained lowly as he sat down on the stool in front of me.

Dr Cullen patiently explained the x-ray to me, showing me where my leg was broken exactly and telling me what he would do about it. Then he wheeled me back into the exam room where the nurse was already waiting.

"Okay, I will put your leg in a cast now, Miss Platt." Dr Cullen said, returning to being all professional, but not as cold as he had been. "I'm afraid you will have to stay in the hospital for two days though before you can go home." He told me. "Just to be sure everything is alright with the cast. So don't be worried, it's a mere precaution." I nodded.

It didn't take long to put my leg in a cast. Dr Cullen worked swiftly and the pain in my leg had lessened quite a bit. I felt much better now, and I was not getting drowsy, like he promised me.

After my leg was cast I was brought into a hospital room where the nurse helped me to change into a nightgown. I was relieved my mother had thought of bringing some clothes with me just in case I had to stay. I really didn't want to wear any of the hospital's gowns. After I was lying in bed and my leg was propped up I was supposed to sleep, but I was not tired at all. So I lay awake and stared out the window at the night sky, thinking of the gorgeous and charming Dr Cullen.

CPOV

After Esme was brought into her room by the nurse I went back to my dreaded paperwork. But I couldn't concentrate. My mind was focused solely on Esme. On her face before my eyes, her musical voice, her beautiful slim body, the feeling of having it pressed against my stone hard and cold one. Her soft curls running through my fingers. I sighed. I was confused. I wanted to be near her again, talk to her. I had enjoyed every single word I shared with her and I longed to get to know her. As wrong as it may be. I had never felt that way before. And whatever it was I felt, I didn't want to deny myself this feeling. Even if just for a while. She would leave soon, and then everything would be over. No harm done. Besides, I wasn't doing anything wrong. I only kept her company, talked a bit.

I decided I would check on my patients again, since I could no longer sit still. I felt like the walls of my office were closing in around me. I needed to clear my head.

When I walked by the reception desk I noticed that Gretchen had fallen asleep. I smiled. Somehow I liked it. It meant more peace for me. I quickly checked on all my patients before I hesitated at the door to Esme's room. I could hear that she was still awake. Maybe she was in pain. I immediately worried and before I had realized it myself I had knocked softly.

"Come in…" I heard her reply a little hesitantly. I stepped inside, smiling softly. "Dr Cullen." She said surprised. I nodded, suddenly at a loss for words. What was I supposed to tell her? I couldn't say that I heard she was still awake? "I, erm… was just checking on my patients again… to see if there was anything I could do… I…" I noticed I was rambling on and stopped, embarrassed. "Well, ahem, are you in pain? Do you want some more medication?" I asked concerned. Esme gave me a soft smile. "No, thank you. I am good." She replied. I nodded, feeling a tiny pang of sadness that I had no chance to prolong my stay in her room. "Alright, then." I mumbled. "Erm, sleep well…" I said lowly. I was about to turn around when I heard her call my name: "Dr Cullen?" I stopped and turned again.

"Yes?" I asked, smiling. She blushed, looking down into her lap. "What is it? Tell me. It is fine." I said with a soft smile. "Can you… stay maybe?" she finally mumbled lowly. "Just to… talk a bit?" I could tell she was still extremely embarrassed by her question, but I was very happy she asked. I had a strange feeling inside my stomach, like it was filled with cotton wool.

I then noticed that I had still not answered her and quickly looked down in embarrassment. If I could blush I would have. "Yes, sure…" I said, trying to keep my voice from trembling, but it wasn't that easy. I pulled one of the chairs from the table and put it close to the bed then sat down. Esme smiled. "Thanks, that's very nice." She said. I grinned. "You saved me from paper work." I replied with a wink. She laughed lightly, then turned serious again. "What about… the nurse?" she asked almost afraid. "Asleep, we should be quiet so I can keep an ear on the hallway though." I said. Esme nodded. "Okay." She agreed.

EsPOV

I was very happy Dr Cullen was staying to chat for a bit though I felt all giddy inside. He was now sitting next to my bed, looking like a god. "So, erm, what do you want to talk about?" he asked me with a soft smile. I blushed. I had no idea what I wanted, or even could talk about with him. Suddenly it all seemed to be a stupid idea.

When I didn't answer him, he asked me a question: "So, what do you like to do, except for climbing trees?" I blushed again, but I knew he was only joking. "I… I like to read…" I admitted. "But I don't have much time." I added slowly. "Why not?" he asked, merely curious but with a slight frown on his face. "I… should do other things. Learn to cook, to sew… things like that." I told him. "But you don't enjoy it." Dr Cullen concluded. I looked down. I couldn't answer that truthfully. "What do you like to do, Dr Cullen?" I changed topics. He grinned. "Carlisle, please." He said. I blushed. Carlisle. What a beautiful and unique name. "Only if you call me Esme." I said in return. "My pleasure, Esme." Carlisle replied, shooting me a breathtaking smile.

"So, what do you like to do?" I asked him again. He chuckled. "Reading, too. I read a lot. I also enjoy being outside, taking long walks in the woods for example. Well, and work." I smiled. "That sounds nice." I said.

CPOV 

I slowly relaxed in Esme's presence, as I spoke about what I liked to do. I felt at ease next to her, though there was still this strange feeling all over my body and of course her sweet scent which clouded my head. "So, um… you're having a family?" she asked after a while, fumbling with the blanket. I smiled. "No, well, I live with my younger brother, Edward. Just the two of us." I said, feeding her the same lie as everyone else, but with her it felt worse. In my heart I just wanted to spill it all, tell her everything and be open with her. Maybe I was going crazy. I couldn't do this. Not with anyone. Never. "How old are you, if it is okay to ask." Esme mumbled. "31." I replied, again feeling bad for having to lie to her. She looked up at me. "I thought you were younger!" she blurted out. I looked down. "Thank you, for making me younger than I am. How old are you?" I asked her. Esme then laughed. "Well, has your mother not told you to never ask a lady about her age?" she joked, winking at me. I felt myself get all hot and flustered, feeling like my heart might start to beat again. I had to look away, biting my lip. "I am 22." She answered then, grinning. I grinned back. "Yes, well, I guess my mother would shoot me for asking that question." Esme laughed. "I won't tell her." She joked.

We kept the easy flowing conversation up for quite a while, talking about everything and nothing until I heard a noise outside in the hallway and got up. Esme looked up at me. "I think I heard something." I whispered. She blushed. "Were we too loud?" she whispered back. I shook my head. "I don't think so, but I should probably get back into my office and do some paper work. And you should sleep, it's very late and your leg won't heal if you don't get enough sleep." I said a little remorseful. Esme sighed, hiding a yawn. "Maybe." She agreed. "Good night to you, Carlisle." I smiled. "Good night, Esme. Sleep well." I mumbled, before placing the chair back into its original spot and preparing to leave. "Are you working again tomorrow?" she asked me, just before I left the room. I grinned, happy about the fact she obviously wanted to spend time with me again. "Yes, the night shift. I will check on you when I get here." I promised her, then quickly left the room.

Outside in the hallway I met Nurse Gretchen who had awoken from her slumber. "I must have fallen asleep, I am sorry Dr Cullen." She said lowly. "No, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Nothing happened. I was just giving Miss Platt some more pain meds, she seemed a little restless when I was doing my rounds again." I explained. The nurse nodded. "Alright." I smiled. "Yes, well, I will be in my office again."

EsPOV

After Carlisle had left I snuggled up in the bed, trying to get as comfortable as possible with the heavy cast on my leg. I had just realized how tired I really was. But I would not have wanted to miss this for anything. Carlisle was so nice. I had never met a man as genuine and caring as him, or as handsome, I thought and blushed a little. He really was perfect… I closed my eyes, falling asleep within mere minutes, dreaming of a blonde angel.

CPOV 

The rest of my shift dragged on and I couldn't do more round than once shortly before I left. And even if I knew it was a little reckless, I found myself lingering in Esme's room for a bit then, watching her soft smile in her sleep, her hand fisted in the bed sheet. I sighed lowly, feeling a sudden sadness wash over me.

At 6 I left the hospital and went back home to Edward. The cool night air helped clearing my head, but only a little. It was still a jumbled mess, thoughts centering around Esme. It took me longer to get home than usual. Every step away from the hospital filled me with more longing. I wanted to get back. Spend the day talking to Esme. I shook my head. I shouldn't feel that way. I had Edward. I was no longer alone, I had a family now. I had what I had wanted all those years. I had a companion. Then why did I feel so empty now?

I went home, focusing my thoughts on Edward. He probably needed to hunt and I should hunt too. My throat was uncomfortably itchy.

As soon as I sat foot inside the house Edward leapt up from the couch and snarled at me, his eyes pitch black. I instinctively growled warningly. I didn't even know why I reacted that way. Edward seemed to be confused too, as he straightened up a bit and stared quizzically at me, grasping his throat. "That smell." He almost choked out. I took a step back. Of course, Esme's scent was probably clinging to my clothes. "I am sorry. I go and change and then we can go hunting together, alright?" I asked. Edward nodded, not breathing.

I quickly headed upstairs into my room and shed my clothes. As I took my shirt off I found myself taking a deep breath of Esme's scent that was indeed strong. I could understand why Edward had reacted like he did. He couldn't help it. I swiftly dressed in some older, sturdier clothes before I went down again. Edward was standing by the window, his back to me. _Okay, let's go hunting_. I thought. Edward nodded and followed me outside.

We started running deep into the woods, not speaking. "Sorry. I couldn't help it. I don't know what it was." Edward said after a moment. _I nodded. It's fine. I know you didn't want to react that way. _

We soon found a herd of elk to quench our thirst on. After I had drained the second animal I buried the carcasses and began looking for Edward. I found him about half a mile north where he too was burying the bodies of dead elks. _Are you feeling better now?_ I asked in my head. "Yes, I am good." He replied. _Should we get back? Or do you want to stay out here for a bit? _I asked silently. "Can we stay out here? I am bored inside all day." Edward said. "Sure." I replied with a smile.

EdPOV

I felt better now after the hunt but I still remembered the delicious scent Carlisle had on him when he got home. Even just thinking about it now made my throat burn. I had no idea how Carlisle could stand it.

We walked around the forest for a bit, not talking. I enjoyed the silence from any thoughts out here, well, except for Carlisle's. But his mind was very calm usually. Today though, when he was not paying attention, his thoughts slipped back to a young woman. She had auburn colored hair and it seemed to be her smell that had made my throat burn so badly. I wondered who she was. I could tell that Carlisle made an effort not to think of her, but his thoughts kept slipping. I wondered what it was about that woman.

"Who is she?" I asked Carlisle as we sat in the living room at home and her face kept popping up in his thoughts. Carlisle sat up, looking caught. "Ahem… Just a patient." He replied simply, not meeting my gaze.

_**I would love to know what you think about this... Reviews make me post chapter two faster, if you want it... **_

_**If you like my writing, please check out my original story "Savin' Me" at Wattpad: http:/www(dot)wattpad(dot)com/1249254-savin-me  
><strong>_


	2. impossible to stay, impossible to leave

_**I hope you enjoy the second chapter of this story, please tell me what you think of it! **_

_**2. impossible to stay, impossible to leave…**_

CPOV

I was eager to go to work in the evening. Almost too eager. I had made an effort of not thinking of Esme anymore, especially after Edward asked me about her. And now it was almost time to go back to work. I smiled. I would see her again in a short while. Though I tried to take my time getting dressed I was early. I busied myself with tidying up my desk, but even that didn't take long.

When I couldn't find anything else to do, I went down and got my coat. I would be a little early at the hospital, but didn't care. "You're going in early." Edward stated. I nodded, trying not to think of Esme but instead focusing my thoughts on patient's files. "I am behind on my paper work." I replied. Edward nodded. "Okay, I see you tomorrow morning then." He said. I nodded. _Yes, you will be alright, won't you?_ I asked in my head. I was suddenly feeling bad for leaving him home alone, just thinking about what my heart so badly wanted. I had to think of Edward too. I couldn't neglect him for a stupid sentimentality. He was my family. My closest friend. "I'll be fine. But maybe you could see if you can find some more books? I don't really want to get started on your medical stuff… or romantic poems." he said with a wry smile. _Okay, if you have something special in mind, just write it down. I get it for you._ I thought with a smile. I would do anything to keep Edward entertained while I was away, I didn't want him to feel anything but at home and happy with me. I was much too afraid to be alone again.

I was walking a little faster towards the hospital than I usually did, smiling to myself. I felt very excited – not to be at work, so much, but to see Esme again. It was silly, reckless and dangerous, but I couldn't help the way I felt. I entered the hospital with a grin on my face, greeting Nurse Gretchen at the reception desk before going into my office to change into my lab coat.

After that I went out to Nurse Gretchen again. "Good evening. Any news for me?" I asked, trying to hide my impatience to start my rounds. "No, well Mr Cole was discharged…" I nodded, I had expected that. "Mrs Meyer was complaining about pains, so Dr Grand increased her pain meds." I nodded. "Good. Anything else?" I asked. "No, Though Miss Platt will be discharged tomorrow. Dr Grand decided it today." I nodded, feigning nonchalance. But my heart sunk at this. "Good, I am sure the young lady will be happy to be home again." I said. "I will start my rounds now." I told the nurse and left towards the patients' rooms.

Everybody seemed to be fine, even Mrs Meyer was sleeping soundly so I assumed the pain medications did their job. When I entered Esme's room I found her in her bed with her eyes closed. But as soon as the door clicked closed she opened them and smiled. "Carlisle!" she exclaimed happily. I grinned. "You are not asleep?" I asked. "I could sleep the whole day. I was bored." She said. I chuckled. "Can you stay again? To talk?" I sighed. I would love to. "I don't know, I shouldn't really. It is inappropriate, I think." Esme nodded, looking down. "Of course. I am sorry." "Well, a few minutes should be fine." I told her, sitting down on the edge of her bed. Esme smiled at me and tried to sit up a little straighter but suddenly she winced in pain. "Are you alright?" I asked immediately. "Is it your leg?" Esme shook her head. "No, I'm alright, don't worry." She whispered but I didn't believe her. I could tell from the way she was moving that she was in pain. "Please, tell me what's wrong. I see you're hurting." I said. Esme hesitated, but finally she replied in a low whisper: "just my back… it's a bit sore." I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing thoughts. Her back was hurting… "Will you have a look?" she asked shyly. I swallowed, suddenly feeling very unsure of myself. I couldn't do this. "I… I need to get the nurse." I replied with a shaky voice. Esme nodded. "Okay."

I went back to the reception desk where Nurse Gretchen was reading what looked like the newspaper. "Nurse Gretchen, could you maybe accompany me to Miss Platt's room? She's complaining about pains in her back. I'd like to have a look." I said as professional as I could. Nurse Gretchen quirked and eyebrow but got up after a moment.

We went into Esme's room where she was sitting in her bed, looking up as we entered. "Alright Miss Platt. I would like to have a look at your back now, if I may." I said with a small smile. Esme nodded shyly. "Yes, you may." She replied.

EsPOV

My back was really hurting and I was happy Carlisle would have a look now, though I didn't like the nurse to be there. I knew he had to call her, but I still didn't like it. "Very well, Miss Platt, can you turn to the side, maybe?" Nurse Gretchen asked me. I nodded and turned so she could get my dress opened and my back exposed. I glanced over at Carlisle who had his back to us, staring out the window. His posture was tensed and I wondered if he was as uncomfortable as I was. After all, he was a doctor, he was used to see people naked, right?

"Dr Cullen?" the nurse called and he turned around, giving her what I thought was a nervous smile, but she probably didn't notice. "Alright Miss Platt?" he asked, ever the gentleman. I could only nod, my throat was very tight all of a sudden.

Carlisle sat down on a stool behind me. I could feel his presence and it gave me goose bumps.

CPOV

I sat down on the stool and looked at Esme's back. I cringed when I saw the bruises covering her pale skin. This was surely hurting very badly. I reached out and carefully placed my hands on her back. As soon as I did I felt something like a shock run through me and took them away again. I had felt Esme shiver slightly. Had she felt it too? It took me a second to gather my confused thoughts on that. I had never felt like that. Never in all my life. "I'm sorry." I muttered, wanting to apologize for my cold hands before placing my hand back on her back. The feeling was still there like electricity running through our bodies where I touched her. It left me in a confused mess. I could hardly think straight with this. All I could focus on was the silky smoothness of her skin under my finger tips, her delicate frame, her caramel curls falling partly over her back. It was a sight that left me with partly quite un-gentlemanly thoughts.

EsPOV

I couldn't relax, as much as my back hurt in this position I couldn't relax my muscles with Carlisle touching me like that. His hands on my back send shivers down my spine and warmth through the rest of my body. It felt amazing. I could only just keep myself from arching against his touch.

When he hit an especially tender spot I winced. "Sorry." His voice was like honey, deep and smooth and hearing it so close to my ear, his breath tickling the skin of my neck made my body do things I never dreamed of. I blushed.

"I will put some ointment on these bruises. It will help them heal faster and ease the pain, you should feel better soon." Carlisle mumbled. "This may sting a bit, tell me if it is too much." He asked and I again smiled at how caring he was. His hands left my back for a few seconds and I got a chance to relax and take some calming breaths. What was this strange feelings I got whenever he touched me? I had felt it yesterday, too, like electricity flowing through my veins. I wondered if it was only me who felt it. Or was he feeling it too?

As soon as he touched me again to rub the ointment in, my breath hitched in my throat. I was trying to focus on anything but him behind me, his hands touching me, moving down my spine. I wanted him to… I bit my lip, stopping my thoughts from whatever direction they were going to. I couldn't think like that. My parents would kill me if they knew what was going through my head right now.

"Alright, this should help ease your pain." Carlisle said as he stood up. "I'll just go and wash my hands before talking to you about those bruises." He said and the nurse took his place behind my back, fastening my dress again.

CPOV

I cleaned my hands off the ointment and then leaned over the sink, staring at myself in the mirror. I should leave. Get away from here as fast as I could. This was dangerous. Though I had just hunted Esme's scent was still clouding my mind. I didn't want to attack her, no, but I still wanted her, in ways completely unknown to myself. Touching her like that was almost too much to bear. I sighed and splashed some icy water on my face, as if that would help.

After a minute I returned to Esme's room. She was sitting in her bed, thankfully fully clothed again. "So, is it bad? My back?" she asked. I shook my head, giving her a reassuring smile. "No, it's just a few bruises. They will fade in a few days, just like the pain. I will make sure you get to take some of this ointment to take home with you, though, to help your back to heal faster." I said softly. Esme smiled at me. "Thank you." She whispered. "You're welcome." I replied honestly. I was fully aware of Nurse Gretchen staring at me from her spot next to the door, waiting for me to get up and follow her outside. I was staying too long, I knew that.

"Have a good night, Miss Platt." I said finally, standing up. I saw Esme look up at me with sad eyes. "Can't you stay?" she whispered very lowly, so only I could hear it. I wished I could and before I knew what I was saying I had replied with: "I'll try to come back later." Esme gave me happy smile. "Good night Dr Cullen." She then replied politely. I winked at her before I left the room with Nurse Gretchen.

"This young lady is very outgoing. She should be better behaved." Nurse Gretchen said as we walked back towards the reception desk. I frowned. I didn't like the way she talked about Esme. "I thought Miss Platt was very polite." I phrased carefully, not wanting to draw attention to myself by defending her too vehemently, but not able to let this go either. The nurse pursed her lips. "Well, I wouldn't let my daughter behave like that, and surely not in the presence of a man, no offence Dr Cullen, but she is way too outgoing and self-confident." Nurse Gretchen lectured me. I bit my tongue to keep my mouth shut, though I disagreed. My goodbye to Nurse Gretchen might have been a bit stiff when I went back into my office, but she didn't look like she noticed anything.

In my office I thought about how I could sneak into Esme's room without the Nurse noticing. I wanted to talk to her again. I just needed to get past Nurse Gretchen at the reception desk. I paced my office thinking of ways to get past her when I heard her get up from her position behind the reception desk and move down the hall, towards the ladies' room I assumed. This was my chance. Without giving it a second thought I slipped out of my office, locking it just in case and ran vampire speed towards Esme's room, before stopping and slipping inside quietly. I felt bad for the way I acted. It really was highly inappropriate, sneaking into a ladies' room like that, but the happiness at seeing Esme outweighed my guilt. And after all, we would just talk. I was merely keeping her company.

EsPOV

I was sad when Carlisle had to leave, but of course I understood the reasons. My mother would die of a heart attack if she ever learned I spent the previous night talking to a man without a chaperone nearby. I really hoped I could talk to Carlisle again tonight. I wanted to know more about him. He was fascinating to me. The news that I would be discharged tomorrow morning was actually a bit sad to me. This was the last chance I got at talking to Carlisle…

Just when sadness crept over me at the thought of not seeing the handsome doctor again or spending time with him, it knocked. "Come in." I said quickly, smiling widely when said doctor entered. "Hello." I breathed. He smiled. "Hello." "So, you got past the watchful dragon?" I asked him. Carlisle laughed. "You mean Nurse Gretchen? That's not very polite Miss Platt." He scolded playfully. I blushed slightly. "How is your back now?" he asked me. "It's better, thank you." I said softly. "Why didn't you tell me yesterday?" Carlisle asked, sounding honestly concerned. I bit my lip and looked down. "I… I thought it wasn't so bad…" I finally replied. Carlisle nodded. "I'm glad you told me now. I don't want you to be in pain."

"So, how was your day?" I asked him to change the topic. "Oh, erm… not very adventurous, I fear. I slept a lot and later spent some time with Edward." He replied. I smiled wryly. "Yeah, sorry, I forgot you would probably sleep a lot." I said.

"What is he like? Your brother?" I asked Carlisle. He smiled. "He is… nice. A very polite young man, though he can be quite… temperamental." Carlisle said. "You two get along well?" Carlisle smiled. "Yes, a lot better than we used to…" he answered.

CPOV

"What about you? Do you have any siblings?" I asked Esme. She shook her head. "No, sadly not. I always wanted someone to play with, but I stayed an only child." She told me. "It was boring, most of the time. I live on a farm, our next neighbors are a few miles away. I never had someone to play with, except we had visitors." She told me. "Thankfully I have a bunch of cousins." She added after a moment. I laughed. "Who taught you to climb trees?" I taunted. Esme grinned. "No, I would never do such a thing, it's very unladylike." She mocked. I smiled. "My apologies, Miss Platt." "Still, it must have been great, to have a brother to play with." She added thoughtfully. "Well, no." I said. "Edward is a lot younger than I am, so I spent most of my childhood alone, like you." At least, part of what I was telling Esme was true here. I had spent a long time alone and lonely – until I decided to change Edward.

"Where are you from? I mean, where did you grow up?" I smiled, this was a question I could answer truthfully for once. "Actually I'm from London." Esme looked surprised. "Really? You don't have a British accent." She said. "I heard an Englishman talk once, he was visiting my father on our farm." She explained. "It sounded very nice." I grinned. "Well, in that case Miss Platt… I might give you an example." I said, speaking with my best British accent. She giggled and blushed.

EsPOV

When Carlisle talked with this British accent his voice sounded even better, if that was possible. It sent goose bumps over my skin. His voice was like velvet.

Carlisle grinned at me before he began to recite a poem in this beautiful British accent.

"_Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?  
>Thou art more lovely and more temperate:<br>Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,  
>And summer's lease hath all too short a date:<br>Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,  
>And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;<br>And every fair from fair sometime declines,  
>By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm'd;<br>But thy eternal summer shall not fade,  
>Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;<br>Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,  
>When in eternal lines to time thou growest;<br>So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,  
>So long lives this, and this gives life to thee." <em>

For a few moments we were both silent, staring at each other. I could almost feel the air prickling around us. It was like when we touched earlier, the same tension pulling us towards each other.

Finally I blushed and looked down. This was beautiful. Just hearing his voice saying those words while watching me with this golden eyes of his made me feel all fuzzy inside. "I… I love Shakespeare…" I finally stammered. Carlisle grinned proudly. "I'm lucky I chose this poem then." He said lowly. I nodded stupidly.

"What else do you enjoy Esme, except from Shakespeare?" Carlisle asked. "I don't know. I don't have much time to read. My mother thinks I don't need to know Shakespeare. She says it's more important I know how to cook and sew and things like that." Carlisle gave me a sympathetic smile. "But you don't, right?" I shook my head. "No, she wants me to get married. In fact, she's extremely glad I finally got engaged." I noticed how Carlisle looked away when I mentioned my engagement. What was he thinking? Was he hurt? Jealous even maybe? Even to me saying I was engaged here in front of Carlisle felt strange. I had not thought of Charles at all. But shouldn't I do that all the time? I mean, if you were engaged and in love, didn't you think about the one constantly? Missing him or her when they weren't there? I didn't miss Charles. I was a little relieved I wouldn't be able to see him for a while with my father not wanting him to know that I broke my leg. I always hated having to act like the perfect lady around him. I wasn't like that. It was a mask. A mask I put on to placate my parents. I had never tried that around Carlisle. Everything I had told him was true and he didn't seem to mind me not acting like society expected. In fact, I thought he really liked me for not being like everybody else.

CPOV

"Do you want to marry, Esme?" He asked me solemnly. I didn't know why I asked her that, or why it bothered me so much, thinking of her with another man, but I had to know.

She sighed lowly, looking away before answering. "No, well, not now. I'd rather attend College. I always wanted to become a teacher. And… maybe that sounds silly and like a romantic school girl fantasy, but I'd like to… find a man I really like, first… " She replied, speaking to her blanket, not daring to look up at me. "It doesn't sound silly. Not to me." I told her honestly. Esme looked up. "Why don't you try to become a teacher?" I asked. I imagined her in a class room full of curious children. Every child would love her. I knew Esme would be a great teacher. "My father. He doesn't want me to become a teacher and live on my own. He says it's not suitable for a lady." Esme mumbled. "What about you? Are you engaged? I guess you're not married." She quickly changed topics and I decided not to press the matter any further.

I shook my head. "No, I am not married, also not engaged." I said simply. "Why not? I mean, you're handsome, you're polite… you're…" she stopped, blood rushing to her cheeks. I looked down too. I should have known that Esme would ask that, after telling me what she wanted I guess I had to tell her a bit more about myself too. "I… well, I haven't found the right woman yet." I said, staring into Esme's deep green eyes. She blushed, looking away from me… I suddenly imagined her in my house, me coming home to Esme waiting. These thoughts alone made me feel like I had swallowed a bunch of butterflies or something. I didn't dare to think more about this. No woman had ever affected me like Esme did.

EsPOV

I watched Carlisle stare into nothing, the moonlight reflected on his face and in his blonde hair. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen. And he was the perfect gentleman, always so polite and caring.

As if it had a mind on its own my hand moved towards Carlisle's, carefully stroking the back of his hand. His skin was so smooth and cool, but I liked it. He looked up, drawing in a sharp breath. His eyes looked a little shocked, or… scared? But before I could muse about what the look in his eyes meant I realized something else. His eye color was a golden honey tone today. I was sure they had been darker the day before. No. This was ridiculous. Eyes didn't change color…

I looked up again, realizing for the first time how close we really were. We must have been moving towards each other at some point. Carlisle was staring at me and I was caught in his eyes. I couldn't look away. Carlisle lowered his gaze. When I realized he was staring at my lips I felt my breath hitch in my throat. Could he think of the same thing I did? Of… what it would feel like… to… kiss…

My heart was hammering in my chest. It was so loud I was sure he must be able to hear it. I saw how Carlisle swallowed, he seemed just as tensed as I was. Unable to move, transfixed by the other's presence. Suddenly Carlisle moved away so quickly I didn't even see him move. One second he was right in front of me, leaning in and the next moment he was gone. I drew in a startled breath and looked around the dark room. Where was he? And how did he move so fast? I was confused, but had no time to think about it anymore, because the door was opened and the nurse stepped inside. When she spotted me sitting in bed, breathing quick and shallow she came over.

"Miss Platt, are you feeling well?" she asked. I was about to nod, when I caught a movement in the dark corner of the room. I gasped a little. It was Carlisle. He was hiding there, signaling me to keep silent. I focused back on the nurse. "Yes…" I stuttered. "Yes, I… woke up… a nightmare." I stammered. Nurse Gretchen frowned. It was clear she didn't believe me. "Well, Miss Platt, you should sleep. I will give you something that will help you to rest properly." She said, taking some pills out of her coat pocket. I frowned. I didn't want it. "It's fine…" I tried to protest. "I will just go back to sleep. I won't need this." I said, hoping to get rid of the nurse. She pursed her lips, glaring at me. "You should sleep, Miss Platt. This will help you." She said. I shook my head. "I am fine. Thank you. Please, just leave me alone so I can go back to sleep." I said as calm as I could. After another few seconds the nurse finally left the room. I lay back down, sighing relieved as I watched Carlisle emerge from the shadows. He was relieved too.

CPOV

I almost missed Nurse Gretchen approaching the room because I was so focused on Esme. And when I heard the nurse it was almost too late. I quickly moved into a dark corner of the room, leaving Esme confused and frightened probably. I instantly regretted what I did. I had moved too fast. She hadn't seen me moving, nor did she know why I fled. She knew something was off now. I wouldn't be able to convince her that nothing happened. She would never believe me and I couldn't lie to her like that. Not convincingly. God, I had gotten myself in a real mess now…

I knew that Nurse Gretchen was really looking for me when she checked on Esme. Her suspicion was easily visible. Though, the way she treated Esme made me nearly expose myself. Especially when she tried to drug Esme. I only barely kept myself from growling. Just then Esme spotted me in my hiding place. I quickly signaled her to keep silent and was relieved when she focused back on Gretchen and didn't expose me. But I didn't dare to move.

When Gretchen finally left and the door clicked shut behind her, Esme let out a breath of relief. I did the same. She lay back down on the bed behind her, looking at me. "That was close." She whispered. I nodded. "Yes, it was." I agreed. "I should go now." I said. Esme nodded. "Yes…" she mumbled. I tried to leave the room, but Esme called me back.

"Carlisle?" I hesitated and turned back. "Yes?" She swallowed. "I… I won't see you again… will I?" I bit my lip, my still heart clenching at the thought of not seeing her again. "No, you won't. Goodbye Esme." I said, feeling terribly rude. But I had to leave now. Before I really did something stupid. I had already exposed too much of my true self.

She looked hurt by my coldness and I wanted nothing more than to rush over and comfort her, my hands twitched at my side, wanting to reach out and hold her, but I couldn't do this.

"Goodbye, Carlisle." She mumbled thickly. I closed my eyes for a moment before nodding shortly and leaving the room, hurrying vampire speed back to my office so I wasn't caught in the last moment. This had been a way too close call.

Back in my office I sank to the floor, head in my hands, taking several breaths to calm myself. It didn't help. It hurt. My whole body hurt, ached to get back to Esme. If the nurse hadn't interrupted, what would have happened then? Would I… I could hardly think what I had almost done… would I really have… kissed Esme? I swallowed hard. I had wanted to. I still did.

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